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Dear Woman… When Woman Owns Her Power

2/8/2023

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Dear Woman,

One month before International Women’s Day, I write you this letter because I revel in you — I revel in Woman.

For decades, I have felt huge appreciation for Her, and this sense of appreciation was explosively enhanced by extreme rigor and a near death experience in February 2021.

On a brain surgery hospital bed, I was shown through a golden pool of
Light in my pelvis, the radical fortune I was given by being born in a woman’s body.

​Then, less than a year later, I came across a massive work of art called R-Evolution, whose sculptor is fueled by a passion to create a world where women are safe.
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R-Evolution, Marco Cochrane Sculpture
This is an invitation for you to own your power — and however you already do, it is an invitation to REVEL. To acknowledge and celebrate yourself — because… 

You are Woman!


  • A superpowered being, 
  • A giver of Life, 
  • A lover and muse, 
  • A builder of community, feeding the web of Life, 
  • A delicious human tapestry woven of complex cultural, emotional and physiological landscapes, 
  • Intuitive, listening to that which cannot yet be proven,
  • Illuminated by the power of feelings, 
  • Inflamed by injustice,
  • Uplit by the laughter of a child,
  • ​Devastated by the atrocities of household and global war,
  • Entranced with the beauty of flowers and sea,
  • Here to adore and be adored,
  • Ready to own your power.

As I ponder how to serve humanity, I hear a clear song in my core that sings:

Be the change.

Embody "woman owning her power".

Got it. Doing my best, sometimes clumsy, often empowered. 

When I am asked by others — women, men — can you show me how to be more "that way"? More radically alive? — I often come to this: Consciously invite women to own their power. And so, this piece of writing is my first attempt to answer the question in writing, What does it look like when a woman owns her power? 
Ultimately, each one of us will have our own way of answering this question. This piece here is my truth, based on my vision and values. 

Shine on, beauty!

Big Love,
​Rio
IG: @rainbowwriter
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In a nutshell --

When Woman owns her power, she honors her relations.

SELF— with her body, mind, heart
OTHER— in family, friendship, romance, community, nature
DIVINE— with God, Source, Spirit

Ultimately, it is All One — in the vastness where there is no separation between you and me, God and everything. And for now, let’s explore how this looks in the on-the-ground human experience. 


And in a waterfalled expression of floral fertility --

When Woman owns her power,

She lives her truth. She lives the way she is guided to think, feel and act, in all these ways and more. The more consciously she chooses to live her truth, the more she will feel the power that is her essence: Love.

She… listens to the voice within, creating a life of authenticity by trusting her own inner wisdom.

​She… revels in the gift of being born in a woman’s body.
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​She…
 
chooses her intakes — of food, water and medicine — mindfully. 


She… honors her body’s unique needs for movement, expressing her gratitude for the gift of life by supporting her body’s desire to be healthy and strong. 

She… observes her poor choices and becomes present so that she can steer towards mindful choices that serve her soul, asking for help when she needs it.

She… respects her natural beauty, regardless of what she looks like, graciously declining an oppressive societal narrative that tells her to wear this to make her body or face do that.

She… adorns her body with as little or as much — clothing, makeup, piercings, tattoos, jewelry — as is authentic for her.
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​
She… makes Love to herself, accepting Eros as a human right. Releasing anybody else from the duty of being her lover, she marvels in self-pleasure, never leaving herself starving for the gift of human touch. 

She… makes Love to whoever she chooses as her lover, courageously accepting that all of intimacy’s challenges are worth the abundant beauty she feels in the heated and tender embrace of romance.

She… lives "all out", taking up space if and how she wants to. She chooses radical self acceptance, loving herself regardless of her intended or unintended impacts. 

She… plays her bigger game, recovering gracefully when she makes messes, taking responsibility for her unintended impact on others. 

She… doesn’t try to play God. She accepts that she is here to focus mostly on her own thoughts, feelings and actions, and doesn’t try to fix other people. She accepts that despite appearances, they aren’t broken and their path is their own to live. 
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

She… openly gives and receives feedback. She knows that she needs input from others that is sometimes uncomfortable, in order to live her fullest life. 

She… sets clear boundaries. She has access to her Yes and her No. She stays tuned to her needs and preferences, so she can navigate consciously with boundaries. With herself and others, she clearly communicates her boundaries with her body and with words. When she needs help establishing boundaries, she asks for and gratefully receives it.

Let us emphasize this:
She is as willing to receive as she is to give.
To be cared for, as she is to extend care.


She… receives stellar support regularly. She knows she cannot shine as brightly as she is meant to, unless she is supported by others who feel great Love for her and what she’s up to. Nothing is too big or small for her to ask for help with. 
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​
She… shines. She feels the Love of God, Goddess, Spirit, Source deep inside of her, and from this place she gives herself permission to shine that Light along her human journey.

She… accepts that any and all judgment she feels of others, stems from her own inner struggle. When she feels or extends judgment, she recovers to ask within: How is this actually about me? And how can I love myself through this?

She… breathes the liberated breath of forgiveness — accepting that humans can only do one of two things: express Love or call for Love. When someone is unkind in any way, she reminds herself that they are calling for Love, and it is not her job to fix them — they are not broken, perhaps simply confused — their essence, too, is Love. 
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​She… expresses herself through creative avenues that light her inner fire, her artist self, her muses.

She… creates a healthy relationship with money — how she attracts it and how she spends it — acknowledging society’s financial bias towards men yet not giving it power over her financial independence. 


She… accepts that a society based in “an economy" is not designed at its core to honor Life, and she chooses to Be the Change she wishes to see in the world, creating community, relations — Village — that sees Life as more important than money. 

​She… invests her attention in friendships that feel resonant and lets go of friendships that do not. ​​
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​She… knows it is her choice to have a baby, or not. She loves herself regardless of whether she chooses to have children of her own. She loves herself through pregnancy and/or adoption, abortion and — a pain as great as any — the death of her own child.

She… tends to the little girl inside of her. Where her inner child is wounded, she steps up to support her healing. She plays, laughs and frolics freely to keep her inner child alive instead of pretending an adult is only that. 

She… celebrates and honors men, including her father, son, partner, friends, male role models or any other men in her life. She notices wounds she has experienced in relationships with men and takes action to heal them so she does not recreate the same traumas for herself or transfer them to her children.
​
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​She… remembers she is made of Love. It is her essence, even while she experiences the limitations of the human experience in a physical body. 

She… respects the body of Mother Earth, our planetary home and life support system, its body — flora, fauna, fluid and breath — as worthy of Love as her own.

She… rests her precious body and mind in the loving presence of the divine. She feels comforted and held here, whether sleeping or awake. 
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    Author

    Jessica Rios, Founder of Leaning into Light, was born with a divine pen in her pelvis. She is a lifelong letter writer, a thought leader in Love, and she writes memoirs. Our blog and conversations are devoted to Jessica's greatest passion: illuminating the beauty of the human spirit.

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