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Pedaling through Upset: a simple recipe for finding peace

11/14/2023

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Last week I heard the downtown bike shop I adore is closing. Rent shot way up and the owner just can’t make it work.

For a moment, I felt the pinch of upset, disappointed to live in a society that doesn’t adequately support locally owned, independent business. Doesn’t it matter to us that those are the businesses that direct our tax dollars to improve schools, parks, roads and public safety? 


About 30 seconds after hearing the news, I asked myself the question, How is this perfect?, the most powerful question I’m aware of these days. Another way to ask the question, which makes it easier to answer for some people, is What is the gift here? 

​The answer was clear. I immediately felt peace. 

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I thought of the shop owner, Ron, an upbeat man who is generous with his time and honest with his approach. He’s not a robot trained by a corporate industry based thousands of miles away; he is a father, an avid cyclist, a member of our community who promotes healthy transportation by bike. 

I wondered what he would do next for work and planned to go into the shop to express my condolences and offer support for his next endeavor. 

Suddenly I saw a cycle (no pun intended), a pattern unfolding. 

I realized that I could empathize with him as a small business owner, deepening a connection with a treasured community member as he was moving through a difficult experience. Then I imagined that I could tell him about my services as a memoirist. Simply having one more kind, vibrant person aware of my memoir offerings made me feel more alive. 

I imagined all of Ron’s other adoring customers extending their compassion and support. This initially bad news actually ended up strengthening our community, as we leaned in to support each other. 

Everything is contagious; it’s all energy. Goodness feeds goodness. 

By simply asking myself the question, How is this perfect?, I invited myself to see the cycle of life and its perfect order, unpredictable, beyond the realms of rationale and control, silver-lined with beauty… 

We can all see this when we choose to see through Love’s eyes. 
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Life’s perfection appeared. As I hiked up the hill, my consciousness was able to see it. 

We need each other.

We need each other because we are each other. 

Within minutes, my initial disappointment transformed into an expression of deep inner peace, as I accepted that this moment of upset was actually an invitation, an opportunity. Fear is an invitation to feel more Love — inviting humans to surrender to the fact that we need each other. 

Your moments of upset can lead you to peace, too. 

In our society, we are resistant to ask for help. This only hurts us. I’ve learned this through mothering and also “the hard way” — a massive brain tumor. May those who seek to learn big things without having to go through horrendous, life-threatening pain, embrace the fact that we need each other. 

Humble down before extreme pain needs to walk through your front door to teach you. Ask for help; let your relationships bloom through this simple gesture of interbeing. Intimacy isn’t easy but it is one of life’s delicacies, inexplicably worthwhile. 

For a system to heal, its parts must connect with each other. Nations, oceans, human beings. For humans, disappointment and upset are invitations to reach out, connect, and grow closer to others. 

Essentially, we are not separate from each other or God. We need each other because we are each other.

And guess what? A week after I posted this, I went into Ron's shop and he told me the landlord set the rent raise more reasonably, and he's staying. What a win! 

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War Within, War Without

10/22/2023

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Since summer, I’ve been overwhelmed. Moving through life as a single mother, stabilizing my financial landscape after a treacherous decade leading my family through nine moves, a divorce and brain surgery, all the while feeling brilliant ideas stream through me like a waterfall during a storm…

Intensity, to put it mildly.

Too many things to do. Too much, too much, too much. Overwhelm. I ask, How can I escape this battle happening inside of me…

Sound familiar?

I wonder where simplicity lives. My body reminds me that days are better when we start off with a hike.

Morning comes. I hike up steep hills, letting my thighs revel in the blood that moves through them, letting my eyes be massaged by the grace of morning light on rolling hills.
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​I feel relieved, then the storm comes again. I empathize with suicide. It’s not for me in this life, yet I feel like I get it. This human thing is literally insane. And it’s not just the war in Israel and Palestine--

It’s the war inside each one of us, including me and you.

So again, I hike. I watch the fog lay God’s breath along the curves of Mama’s body. I 
see serenity. I keep climbing. My heart rate stabilizes. I feel calmer.

I see other people walking up the hills and I imagine they are doing the same work. Feeling overwhelmed, wondering where peace really lives.

A flock of small birds lands to rest atop an untrimmed oak tree. They seem to have answers. They rest. They choose peace. Not tomorrow, not overseas, but here in this moment. The only one there is.

Oops. It hits me for the 10,000th time. I forgot that Now is the only moment.

I forgot that 
the only place I can be is here, and I can only do one thing at a time.

I remember the sticker on my bicycle that I’ve had for 20 years: 
Begin within.

​I remember wise ones saying, “Peace begins within.”
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This morning, a friend called from Vermont and shared about how her meditation practice is reminding her that the way she does anything is the way she does everything — that every single choice she makes has a ripple effect into the vastness of everything.

And so as I climb this hill, admiring fog, I remind myself that peace begins with me.

If I don’t want war overseas, I need to calm the war within.


​May these words invite you to join me.
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P. S. I’m taking a leap! After all, we live in an economy.

“Great writing is valuable and deserves to be rewarded with money,” wrote Substack.

Not everyone enjoys my writing; all art is for some, not for all. Many of you have shared gorgeous words about how my writing serves you. Thank you.

Last week, I turned up the volume in response to the passion streaming through me. Every single day, I get pierced as a “channel for Love” with writing titles and topics that want to be shared as gestures of Love for humanity.

To support myself, I am now inviting readers to become paid subscribers — $8/month, $80/year or, you can join as a Founding Member of this “launch” moment, and pitch in more to help me leap from solid ground.

I’ll continue to share all my writing every month with all subscribers. Being a paid subscriber helps to encourage me and support me, my children and my vision for a Love-based world. 

​For today, that’s a wrap — in a fog-kissed, gluten free tortilla, of course.
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Who will die soon?

9/15/2023

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This morning, a friend texted me asking for a hug. “My aunt Beverly just died,” she wrote. Moments later she walked through my door and cried in my arms.

You know that people die. Your body will die. Your dearest loved ones’ bodies will die, too. And since we aren’t our bodies — we are spiritual beings having a human experience — this isn’t “bad” news.

​Yet we experience ourselves in and as our bodies, with lungs that breathe and relations rooted in the physical world, and so — it 
hurts.
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Hearts break when someone dies. Waves of grief press up against our chest. Grief takes time to pass through us, carving deeper canyons of empathy into our heart.

When Jerry Garcia died, I was on the island of St. Thomas in the Caribbean. I heard the news and ran up a hill, sobbing about Jerry, singing My Sisters and Brothers. “So let’s walk together little children, we don’t ever have to worry, through this world of trouble, we’ve got to… love one another…”

My heart broke because I loved him; his music helped me feel more Love.

When Prince died, I put on my purple raincoat and danced all night, crying in between squeals of ecstasy about how good it felt to still be alive, dancing.

My heart broke because I loved him; his music helped me feel more Love.

“Life is short” is often said, but really, Life is now.

Only now. And now, and now.

During the pandemic, we got to see how afraid we are of dying. Someone close to us dies and we are in shock, as if we didn’t really understand that … people die.

It is one thing to know this.

It’s a whole different thing to actually lose a loved one.

With children, we openly show Love. They’re so delightful, it’s hard to hold back. Yet with elders, somehow we’ve lost touch with our capacity to extend presence and playfulness, instead tossing them aside to spend their later years lonely and forgotten.

This is NOT OK. 💔

​That’s why I write memoirs.
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​Yesterday I got an email from my first client, an 87-year-old woman in San Diego. She expressed thanks for the deeply moving experience of having her memoir written, and how beautiful it has been for her to share it with others.

This is why I do it. The actual book is wonderful, and yet the the real, immeasurable beauty of the memoirs is the whole experience of creating closer bonds with loved ones at the later stage of someone’s Life. When I started writing memoirs in 2016, I knew it would be really special, but I couldn’t see the awe I’d feel until now.

Don’t wait until your beloved parent or grandparent dies, to honor them by telling their stories. Put in the time now to celebrate, in writing, their precious life. Sit with them while they're alive, ask them gorgeous questions that show them you’re not tossing them aside — you treasure them. Record your conversation and write it down.

Even a simple process and a simple printed document is better than nothing.


Don’t have the time? Hire me to do it. You can reach me at letsleanintolight@gmail (dot-com).

Life is only Now. 

​
Honor it.

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Figs and Freedom: the other side of addiction

8/18/2023

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Now 2.5 years on the other side of food and sugar addiction, I feel free. 

Our outsourcings — the word I prefer for ‘addiction’ — are coping mechanisms for trauma. I cannot count the number of times I hid in my room or my car, alone, eating ice cream. My body will forever carry signs of that abuse I inflicted on her, when I just wasn’t ready for freedom. 
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Ultimately all outsourcing is our unreadiness to accept the divine within us. Our Oneness with God.  Communion with Spirit is the only solution for pain — it is the glow of Love inside us. And it’s always available… isn’t that amazing!?!

Choosing freedom over shame doesn’t make us more lovable; it just makes us feel more free. 

Guilt was one of the energetic causes of my massive brain tumor. Since the tumor — who I named Fidela, as she was a friend who came to help me choose freedom — was removed in February 2021, I’ve only gone to “guilt land” with my eating choices a handful of times.

That’s OK. No shame; I’m in the human experience. 


What’s here now is pleasure.

As I bite into a fig or a masterfully baked pastry, we commune — essentially, we are in Love. Mindful, savoring, joyously intaking their texture and taste, I feel enlivened here. Guilt and freedom are very different human landscapes. 
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Mama, is the future real?

5/19/2023

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One day after school, my 9-year-old daughter sat in the passenger seat and asked, “Mama, is it true that the future isn’t real?”

My heart thumped with intensity as she left me feeling speechless for the 10,000th time. 

​Where does she hear these things?
I often wonder.
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“You ask the most amazing questions,” I answered, letting my chest become softened by her depth. 

I spoke the words my heart offered, trusting it would all somehow make sense to her. “Yes, my sweet girl, it’s true.” 

​I told her that we 
think about the future as something real, but it’s actually just an idea that leads us to another moment of now. I wondered if someone had told me these things when I was a child. Or maybe I first encountered these thoughts in college while reading Ram Dass’ Be Here Now.

“All we have is now, my love.” She listened intently as I aimed to speak with brevity rather than waterfalling her with a downpour of passionate Mama philosophy. 

Then, perhaps unsurprisingly to my readers, I ventured down the Love Sermon path. It is, after all, my religion. 

On I went, waterfalling. “And in this moment of now — the only time there is — we only have one choice.”

She gazed at me with her hazel eyes calmed by our loving exchange and asked, “What do you mean?”

“Love or fear. That’s the only choice. We can choose to extend the Love that we are — because in that moment we remember that Love is who we are — or we can reach out for Love in fear, because we forgot that Love is who we are,” I told her in my typical Love Evangelist way. She was used to it by now and she quickly absorbed what she felt, hearing these words. 

In the week that followed, I noticed how our conversation sweetened my life. When I felt annoyed by somebody honking at me when I was clearly following the rules of the road, I didn’t react from upset. Instead, my heart felt compassion for this man, living in the speed and gruel of a hurried society, which might have led him to behave this way. 

Was he calling for Love? I made up that he was. It’s all a dream and it’s all made up, this story we now write, called Life. So as he drove by me in haste, I blew him and his wife a kiss. Alright I’ll admit, the air-kiss was topped with a smidge of snark. 

I am grateful for the moments when I choose Love. I am also grateful, however unpleasant they usually are, for the moments when I choose to react based in fear. These motivate me to, next time, choose Love instead. 

It just feels better.​

Love feels better.

Right now.

And right now.

​The only time there is…

​I am grateful for my daughter. Children are the original gurus. Thank goodness, we all have a child inside. 
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A Week in the Window: whispers from La Ventana

4/28/2023

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This morning, the soft voice of my waking state whispered a message it has shared 10,000 times: “Write to God.”

​“With pen and paper, sit in the predawn silence and write to God. Letters of human grappling, letters asking why and when, Love letters that help you see and feel your only Source.” 
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More often than I’d like to admit, I hear this voice and instead check email or refresh my to-do list while my tea steeps. My left brain takes over since, after all, I told it that it was most important at the very first start of my day. This Voice for God — for Love, for Light — slips softly into the background and its message dims…

…until the dark stillness of predawn is here again. 

​Today, I listened. 
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What does your higher self tell you over and over again? 

In those first moments of waking, does it ask you to pray?

I just spent a week in La Ventana, a little desert town near Mexico’s tip of Baja California Sur. Matt Cone, my boyfriend’s close friend of 20+ years, lives there to kitesurf in winter when the winds are strong. As he said in his 2016 
TEDx talk on Abundance, “Abundance is a state of mind.” Every morning at 5:30, he goes to his meditation hut for a 2-hour — we could say abundant — meditation sit. 

While meditating, 

he listens, 

he asks, 

he listens more… 

​I don’t know what Matt hears when he sits and listens, when he chooses to come together with the divine awareness within his being. But I do know that people feel the presence of this devotion when we interact with him. Unlike normal conversations in our society, where conversations are often shallow and superficial, every interaction with Matt has power in it. 
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When I choose to commune with the divine voice within, I feel more alive and radiant, and the experiences that follow feel far more worthwhile. 

Aren’t we all meant to do this one thing? 

To begin our days with an act of devotion expressing our desire to remember oneness?

To acknowledge that although we are living in separate bodies — with the stress and sickness of society constantly pressing at our backs to try and keep us down — we are not separate from each other and the divine?

It comes down to this:

It is a choice.  

My post-NDE glow has dimmed a bit now that two years have passed. I still feel the Light inside more than ever before, and… I am in the human experience. It is made of ebbs and flows. As I greet my current human bumps — feeling a desire for this and that and wondering when they will appear — a voice inside keeps gently whispering:

What is God?

I keep asking the All: 
Show me God. 

And I listen. Sometimes. 

When I do, I hear and see:

God is everywhere. 

God does not exist inside any sole religious or spiritual path. God is everywhere because God is Love, and Love is the most powerful force in the universe. It is universal. Christian, Buddhist, Hare Krishna, Taoist… it is all of ours. This has always been a clear feeling inside my heart. 

When I turn my attention away from Source, eventually, I am guided back — often through the gift-in-disguise called pain — because nothing else is ever as satisfying. It’s all like flickers and glimpses of the one long gaze my soul most desires: the being we call God, Spirit or Source, the Tao, the All… Light and Love. The energy beyond words. 

When the winds of Baja pushed desert sand in my eyes and I couldn’t play frisbee midday, the clear voice within guided me to wind-free mornings. 

When I didn’t find myself as amused as others were about the art of kitesurfing, that same voice within reminded me I didn’t need to be. 

​When my small friend, Frances, had left and I could no longer dance with the Light in her eyes, I was reminded a child resides in every one of us.
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When I’d had enough time with men and wanted the energy of women, I laid in bed appreciating the touch of my own skin and breath. 

Whatever struggles you face today…

Wherever you find yourself on the spectrum of joy and sorrow…

​Remember that every morning, Life invites you to set the tone for the rest of your day. It is an invitation to wake in reverence, and however you choose to meditate or pray, to make it so. 

To illuminate your morning session:
Consider who you love and what you love. 

In 1997, I attended a conference in San Francisco called Peacemaking: the Power of Nonviolence. While there, I met two great men: the Dalai Lama and Michael Meade. To explore what to bring to your next prayer or meditation, listen to Michael Meade’s Living Myth podcast #329, What We Love is the Cure (22 min). 
​

In Meade’s words, “What we love as well as who we love connects us to the life-enhancing energy of Eros and to the original force of creation that wishes to continue. An old proverb states: What we love is the cure. That we love is our connection to ongoing creation. We are being called to imagine the world anew and to open to how our own souls can grow and blossom in greater ways that might contribute to the re-imagination of community and the healing and renewal of the earth.”
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For a boost to inspire your morning process, watch this 12-minute video from Neale Donald Walsch: The Little Soul and the Sun. ​
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I'll See It When I Believe It

3/22/2023

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Lately I'm noticing popular statements like "I'll believe it when I see it" that are so unhelpful. Unwise. They provoke us to reclaim our power from the disempowering social narrative. "I'll see it when I believe it" is actually what Love calls us to accept.

​It's the tail end of an ever wet winter, the rainiest California winter I've ever seen. Still, singing with its illuminated specks of spring's promise, the sun peeks out just enough to remind us it's all in motion. Change is the only constant. We can tuck away our raincoats soon. 

Do you believe the seasons change? If you're feeling dragged down by a cold, gray winter, do you believe the sun will take its reign again?
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Two hours ago I gave a talk called "Love is a Life and Death Issue". With passion fed from childhood, when I watched my parents extend unflinching respect for my grandparents, I spoke of the importance of showing elders Love NOW — because, actually, there is no other time.

I love public speaking.
  • Having the guts to think I have something important to say.
  • Becoming intimate with the topic as I draft and refine my outline. 
  • Doing squats in the bathroom before the talk to calm my nerves.
  • That frozen-in-time moment when I approach the stage saying silent "Yes'es" to myself.
  • Noticing who is moved by my share and who seems bothered or uninterested.
  • Feeling my heart pulse in my chest to revitalize my voice.

What do you love, that brings you alive?

Often, humans have something we dream of doing or being that still finds us hiding. Not showing up for it. Letting fear take the front seat instead of letting this one precious Life be LIVED, all out, stepped up, with gratitude for the breaths we're breathing.

Authenticity speaks volumes.

​When we have a rigorous relationship with the truth, and live our truth to the best of our ability, we are heard and supported in astounding ways. The power of our authentic presence is stronger than when we deny our truest calling. Each of us is part of the "unique self symphony" this planet needs, to thrive. 

It is said that public speaking is one of Americans' greatest fears. I get it, and even though I do feel some degree of fear before my talks, it feels so gosh darn good that I must do it anyway!

I believe in me, I believe in what I talk about when I give speeches, and really, I believe in what I'm made of — and what I believe YOU are made of — Love.

Love, baby. 


​Got it?

Great!

Go for it! Dance more often with the power of believing.

​Alongside countless invisible beings, I am rooting for you. 

always with Love,
Jess


P.S. Listening to music is a fantastic way to move out of our overburdened heads — where we're trying to "figure it all out" — and loosen into this moment, where truth and freedom live. For me, it's instant. Play music, feel better. Here's a song to help you remember: You're a Superstar. 
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Loving the Light of Her

3/8/2023

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On March 8th 1975, my body emerged from my mama’s in a San Francisco hospital. While birthdays have always been special, they’re getting better as I age because — for cryin’ out sweet ‘n loud — it’s International Women’s Day!

Somehow it feels like Life placed a torch in my newborn paws, whose songs burns in honor of Her:
(Cue Sting.)

​“Every little thing she does is magic!”
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In 2015, I led a group of women through a 3-part workshop called "When Woman Owns Her Power." Why? Because women are awe-inspiring. This year, I wrote a piece that aims to capture what it’s like when women own our power.

What is our power anyway?

Here’s the piece below — and here is the full piece on my blog (including a letter, Dear Woman). Let me know how it lands with you!

When Woman Owns Her Power…

She… lives her truth. She lives the way she is guided to think, feel and act, in all these ways and more. The more consciously she chooses to live her truth, the more she will feel the power that is her essence: Love.

She… listens to the voice within, creating a life of authenticity by trusting her own inner wisdom.

She… revels in the gift of being born in a woman’s body.

When Woman Owns Her Power…

​​She… is mindful about her intakes with food, water and medicine.

She… honors her body’s unique needs for movement, expressing her gratitude for the gift of life by supporting her body’s desire to be healthy and strong. 

She… observes her poor choices and becomes present so that she can steer towards mindful choices that serve her soul, asking for help when she needs it.

She… respects her natural beauty, regardless of what she looks like, graciously declining an oppressive societal narrative that tells her to wear this to make her body or face do that.

​She… adorns her body with as little or as much — clothing, makeup, piercings, tattoos, jewelry — as is authentic for her.
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When Woman Owns Her Power…

She… makes Love to herself, accepting Eros as a human right. Releasing anybody else from the duty of being her lover, she marvels in self-pleasure, never leaving herself starving for the gift of human touch. 

She… makes Love to whoever she chooses as her lover, courageously accepting that all of intimacy’s challenges are worth the abundant beauty she feels in the heated and tender embrace of romance.

She… lives “all out”, taking up space if and how she wants to. She chooses radical self acceptance, loving herself regardless of her intended or unintended impacts. 

She… plays her bigger game, recovering gracefully when she makes messes, taking responsibility for her unintended impact on others. 

She… doesn’t try to play God. She accepts that she is here to focus mostly on her own thoughts, feelings and actions, and doesn’t try to fix other people. She accepts that despite appearances, they aren’t broken and their path is their own to live. 

When Woman Owns Her Power…

She… openly gives and receives feedback. She knows that she needs input from others that is sometimes uncomfortable, in order to live her fullest life. 

She… sets clear boundaries. She has access to her Yes and her No. She stays tuned to her needs and preferences, so she can navigate consciously with boundaries. With herself and others, she clearly communicates her boundaries with her body and with words. When she needs help establishing boundaries, she asks for and gratefully receives it.

Let us emphasize this:
She is as willing to receive as she is to give. To be cared for, as she is to extend care.

She… receives stellar support. She knows she cannot shine as brightly as she is meant to, unless she is supported by others who feel great Love for her and what she’s up to. Nothing is too big or small for her to ask for help with. 

When Woman Owns Her Power…

She… shines. She feels the Love of God, Goddess, Spirit, Source deep inside of her, and from this place she gives herself permission to shine that Light along her human journey.

She… accepts that any and all judgment she feels of others, stems from her own inner struggle. When she feels or extends judgment, she recovers to ask within: How is this actually about me? And how can I love myself through this?

She… breathes the liberated breath of forgiveness — accepting that humans can only do one of two things: express Love or call for Love. When someone is unkind in any way, she reminds herself that they are calling for Love, and it is not her job to fix them — they are not broken, perhaps simply confused — their essence, too, is Love. 

When Woman Owns Her Power…

She… expresses herself through creative avenues that light her inner fire, her artist self, her muses.

She… creates a healthy relationship with money — how she attracts it and how she spends it — acknowledging society’s financial bias towards men yet not giving it power over her financial independence. 

She… accepts that a society based in “an economy" is not designed at its core to honor Life, and she chooses to Be the Change she wishes to see in the world, creating community, relations — Village — that sees Life as more important than money. 

She… invests her attention in friendships that feel resonant and lets go of friendships that do not. ​

When Woman Owns Her Power…

She… knows it is her choice to have a baby, or not. She loves herself regardless of whether she chooses to have children of her own. She loves herself through pregnancy and/or adoption, abortion and — a pain as great as any — the death of her own child. 

She… 
tends to the little girl inside of her. Where her inner child is wounded, she steps up to support her healing. She plays, laughs and frolics freely to keep her inner child alive instead of pretending an adult is only that. 

​She… 
celebrates and honors men, including her father, son, partner, friends, male role models or any other men in her life. She notices wounds she has experienced in relationships with men and takes action to heal them so she does not recreate the same traumas for herself or transfer them to her children. ​
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Mr. (Fred) Rogers (1928-2003)

When Woman Owns Her Power…

She… remembers she is made of Love. It is her essence, even while she experiences the limitations of the human experience in a physical body. 

She… respects the body of Mother Earth, our planetary home and life support system, its body — flora, fauna, fluid and breath — as worthy of Love as her own.

​She… rests her precious body and mind in the loving presence of the divine. She feels comforted and held here, whether sleeping or awake. ​

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Thanks for reading! 

​Woman, Man or something else…
There is no question: You are completely loved.
Now and always.

So today, consider a woman who you ADORE, and take one minute to extend your radical thanks to her. Tell her something about her that’s amazing. Tell her what she gives you, how your Life is better with her in it.

What if she dies today? Her body, that is. She will never die.

What if you die today? We just don’t know.
Give Love. It’s what you’re made of.

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Dear Woman… When Woman Owns Her Power

2/8/2023

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Dear Woman,

One month before International Women’s Day, I write you this letter because I revel in you — I revel in Woman.

For decades, I have felt huge appreciation for Her, and this sense of appreciation was explosively enhanced by extreme rigor and a near death experience in February 2021.

On a brain surgery hospital bed, I was shown through a golden pool of
Light in my pelvis, the radical fortune I was given by being born in a woman’s body.

​Then, less than a year later, I came across a massive work of art called R-Evolution, whose sculptor is fueled by a passion to create a world where women are safe.
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R-Evolution, Marco Cochrane Sculpture
This is an invitation for you to own your power — and however you already do, it is an invitation to REVEL. To acknowledge and celebrate yourself — because… 

You are Woman!


  • A superpowered being, 
  • A giver of Life, 
  • A lover and muse, 
  • A builder of community, feeding the web of Life, 
  • A delicious human tapestry woven of complex cultural, emotional and physiological landscapes, 
  • Intuitive, listening to that which cannot yet be proven,
  • Illuminated by the power of feelings, 
  • Inflamed by injustice,
  • Uplit by the laughter of a child,
  • ​Devastated by the atrocities of household and global war,
  • Entranced with the beauty of flowers and sea,
  • Here to adore and be adored,
  • Ready to own your power.

As I ponder how to serve humanity, I hear a clear song in my core that sings:

Be the change.

Embody "woman owning her power".

Got it. Doing my best, sometimes clumsy, often empowered. 

When I am asked by others — women, men — can you show me how to be more "that way"? More radically alive? — I often come to this: Consciously invite women to own their power. And so, this piece of writing is my first attempt to answer the question in writing, What does it look like when a woman owns her power? 
Ultimately, each one of us will have our own way of answering this question. This piece here is my truth, based on my vision and values. 

Shine on, beauty!

Big Love,
​Rio
IG: @rainbowwriter
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In a nutshell --

When Woman owns her power, she honors her relations.

SELF— with her body, mind, heart
OTHER— in family, friendship, romance, community, nature
DIVINE— with God, Source, Spirit

Ultimately, it is All One — in the vastness where there is no separation between you and me, God and everything. And for now, let’s explore how this looks in the on-the-ground human experience. 


And in a waterfalled expression of floral fertility --

When Woman owns her power,

She lives her truth. She lives the way she is guided to think, feel and act, in all these ways and more. The more consciously she chooses to live her truth, the more she will feel the power that is her essence: Love.

She… listens to the voice within, creating a life of authenticity by trusting her own inner wisdom.

​She… revels in the gift of being born in a woman’s body.
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​She…
 
chooses her intakes — of food, water and medicine — mindfully. 


She… honors her body’s unique needs for movement, expressing her gratitude for the gift of life by supporting her body’s desire to be healthy and strong. 

She… observes her poor choices and becomes present so that she can steer towards mindful choices that serve her soul, asking for help when she needs it.

She… respects her natural beauty, regardless of what she looks like, graciously declining an oppressive societal narrative that tells her to wear this to make her body or face do that.

She… adorns her body with as little or as much — clothing, makeup, piercings, tattoos, jewelry — as is authentic for her.
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​
She… makes Love to herself, accepting Eros as a human right. Releasing anybody else from the duty of being her lover, she marvels in self-pleasure, never leaving herself starving for the gift of human touch. 

She… makes Love to whoever she chooses as her lover, courageously accepting that all of intimacy’s challenges are worth the abundant beauty she feels in the heated and tender embrace of romance.

She… lives "all out", taking up space if and how she wants to. She chooses radical self acceptance, loving herself regardless of her intended or unintended impacts. 

She… plays her bigger game, recovering gracefully when she makes messes, taking responsibility for her unintended impact on others. 

She… doesn’t try to play God. She accepts that she is here to focus mostly on her own thoughts, feelings and actions, and doesn’t try to fix other people. She accepts that despite appearances, they aren’t broken and their path is their own to live. 
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

She… openly gives and receives feedback. She knows that she needs input from others that is sometimes uncomfortable, in order to live her fullest life. 

She… sets clear boundaries. She has access to her Yes and her No. She stays tuned to her needs and preferences, so she can navigate consciously with boundaries. With herself and others, she clearly communicates her boundaries with her body and with words. When she needs help establishing boundaries, she asks for and gratefully receives it.

Let us emphasize this:
She is as willing to receive as she is to give.
To be cared for, as she is to extend care.


She… receives stellar support regularly. She knows she cannot shine as brightly as she is meant to, unless she is supported by others who feel great Love for her and what she’s up to. Nothing is too big or small for her to ask for help with. 
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​
She… shines. She feels the Love of God, Goddess, Spirit, Source deep inside of her, and from this place she gives herself permission to shine that Light along her human journey.

She… accepts that any and all judgment she feels of others, stems from her own inner struggle. When she feels or extends judgment, she recovers to ask within: How is this actually about me? And how can I love myself through this?

She… breathes the liberated breath of forgiveness — accepting that humans can only do one of two things: express Love or call for Love. When someone is unkind in any way, she reminds herself that they are calling for Love, and it is not her job to fix them — they are not broken, perhaps simply confused — their essence, too, is Love. 
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​She… expresses herself through creative avenues that light her inner fire, her artist self, her muses.

She… creates a healthy relationship with money — how she attracts it and how she spends it — acknowledging society’s financial bias towards men yet not giving it power over her financial independence. 


She… accepts that a society based in “an economy" is not designed at its core to honor Life, and she chooses to Be the Change she wishes to see in the world, creating community, relations — Village — that sees Life as more important than money. 

​She… invests her attention in friendships that feel resonant and lets go of friendships that do not. ​​
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​She… knows it is her choice to have a baby, or not. She loves herself regardless of whether she chooses to have children of her own. She loves herself through pregnancy and/or adoption, abortion and — a pain as great as any — the death of her own child.

She… tends to the little girl inside of her. Where her inner child is wounded, she steps up to support her healing. She plays, laughs and frolics freely to keep her inner child alive instead of pretending an adult is only that. 

She… celebrates and honors men, including her father, son, partner, friends, male role models or any other men in her life. She notices wounds she has experienced in relationships with men and takes action to heal them so she does not recreate the same traumas for herself or transfer them to her children.
​
⭑
When Woman owners her power,

​She… remembers she is made of Love. It is her essence, even while she experiences the limitations of the human experience in a physical body. 

She… respects the body of Mother Earth, our planetary home and life support system, its body — flora, fauna, fluid and breath — as worthy of Love as her own.

She… rests her precious body and mind in the loving presence of the divine. She feels comforted and held here, whether sleeping or awake. 
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The Future is Now

1/29/2023

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Last week after school, my 9-year-old daughter sat in the passenger seat and asked, “Mama, is it true that the future isn’t real?”

My heart thumped with intensity as she left me feeling speechless for the 10,000th time. Where does she hear these things? I often wonder.

“Yes, my sweet girl, it’s true,” I answered. Then I went on to say the words my heart offered, trusting it would all somehow make sense to her. 
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You choose.

Either call in severe pain and rigor like I did — horrific monthly migraines that lasted from five to 32 days long for five years + a massive brain tumor and a 9-hour anesthetized brain surgery + 92 days of severe sciatica that ripped my body with an atrocious Level 10 (plus!?) pain — to wake up to the fact that Now is ALL WE HAVE, or...

Accept this now, without needing pain like that to wake you up. 

You are a gorgeous, exquisitely creative, completely loved and lovable Child of God. Being of Light, experiencing the limitations of time and space in a human body. 

Revel in the gift of being in a body.

Enjoy the things you love to do — dance, sing, give more hugs. Jump off boulders on the beach or if your body doesn't like that idea, cuddle up against one and feel it holding you. Earth is, after all, holding you. 

Ask for help — don't rob other people of the joy of giving. 

Forgive that guy who was mean to you; he doesn't see his wholeness yet.

Forgive yourself for that poor choice you made when you were drunk.

Spend a day doing nothing on your To Do list... simply bask in being.

Wear that dress you feel so fine in; let Life adorn you.

Pick up the phone and tell someone you love them.

Listen to an elder; their stories want to be heard.

None of these ideas resonate? Then what does? You are the one whose best friend you were brought here to be. My daughter and your own inner child are asking --

How will you honor the only moment there is?


Hug yourself.

Repeat.
Repeat.

Life is now. Honor yours. 

I love you. 
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    Author

    Jessica Rios, Founder of Leaning into Light, was born with a divine pen in her pelvis. She is a lifelong letter writer, a thought leader in Love, and she writes memoirs. This blog is devoted to her greatest passion: illuminating the beauty of the human spirit.

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